What are you gonna be when you grow up??

                         Well this has been the big question on my mind lately.

I know that basically I'm already grown, okay, not basically, Let's face it, I AM A GROWN UP, 

but lately I feel the need to answer this question for myself.  It's about time. I know

Sometimes I would like to kick myself for being stupid and stubborn. When I graduated from High School, the thought of willingly going back to School was an outrageous thought.  Now I wish that someone would have told me it wasn't an option. Thanks for nothing, Mr. Ballock for relentlessly informing and impressing on my "Young" mind, that "School's Not For Everyone"!! I sure appreciate that

I have been so Lucky the last 6 years to have what in my opinion, I call " A Great Job".

The job, like most has it's drawbacks or hard parts.  I have to be up early to go sit on a cold bus, and ride to school with sweet kids who are tired, and crying because they want their mommies. I promise, at that time in the morning, I want their mommies too!! :) Did I mention Potty training? because isn't that a Parents job? well I can answer that for ya, it should be BUTT, it's Miss. Stacy's job, Maybe when I have kids they will come out potty trained, because I've done my fair share, okay more than my fair share, but whose counting?  I guess I am :) and the toughest part. Child Abuse.

I knew that child abuse was a real thing, but boy did I have my eyes opened when I started working in the school system. What a heartbreaking thing! I can't count how many kids, I have wanted to kidnap so that they would be safe, just for one night. It literally makes me want to puke to think about some of the nightmares, "my" little kids, have had to deal with in their 3-5 years of life. It's also hard to see these amazing kids who have incredible challenges and will probably never live a "normal" life. I've worked with kids who have passed away early from their conditions.Oh the things I have seen, and learned from working with these incredible kids. Some days, I come home emotionally drained.  But I Love it. Along with the tough parts, My life has been blessed by these kids

 I have been able to see incredible things happen, that to some may seem like simple things, but to me it brings tears to my eyes, to see a child take 5 steps alone, or to see a crippled child pedal a tricycle 10 ft down the hall, or to walk in and have a child that they said wouldn't be able talk say  "Miss.Stacy" with some serious excitement.  Seriously some of the best days of my life.

Right now I'm feeling burnt out and really feel like I need a change. It makes me cry, to even think of missing out on "My Kid" time. I Love them, but I feel like it's time.  But what's next??  No Clue

Oh I hate decisions like this. I guess that I just have to put my trust in Heavenly Father and know that he will help guide me to what's best for me right now.  Decisions, decisions!

Wow this is like a novel. Sorry